Tuesday, December 4, 2007

When I’m Found in the Desert Place

A few weeks ago I was really depressed about being here. Christmas seemed really far away. Cairo seemed ugly. I was frustrated with everything being difficult. I kept seeing the potholes and mud puddles and dust and dirt of the street. I tend to watch the road ahead of me when I walk because I usually push the stroller and I don’t want Luke to bounce out when we hit a pothole. (It happened once when I forgot to buckle him in.) Therefore I end up looking at the dirt a LOT. I found myself thinking every day, “I want OUT of here.” I prayed about my frustrations. I know we’re here for a reason. I believe God will use us while we are here, but there are times that I still question why we are here. God said to me, “Look UP. See what I’ve made.” All around me were trees in full bloom—red flowers, pink flowers, yellow flowers. It was so beautiful. I’ve never seen trees like them. Beyond the trees I saw blue sky. Immediately my spirits lifted. Sure, it’s not the wide open skies of the Texas plains or the bright bluey purple of bluebonnets, but it was lovely. I am learning to interpret that “Look UP” in other ways, too. I almost always find myself depressed and down when my focus is on ME, my circumstances, my situation. When I shift my focus to the Lord, to the things and people he’s made, and to his command that I love them, things are easier. I still search for our purpose here, but along the way I’m enjoying the scenery. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Here’s a poinsettia tree growing outside Luke’s preschool.

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